Selma Blair Gets Candid About Why She Loves This Stage of Parenting: ‘Teenagers Are Amazing’ (Exclusive)
Ever since Selma Blair came onto the acting scene in 1990, she captured our hearts in her iconic roles in Cruel Intentions, Legally Blonde, The Diary of Anne Frank, and, of course, in the documentary Introducing, Selma Blair. It’s no secret that Blair is a truly inspiring woman. Not only has she fought so valiantly amid her MS battle, but when you speak to her, she has such a contagious, unshakeable sense of optimism that bleeds into everything she talks about.
She spoke so passionately about being a mother to her teen son Arthur, and how being a parent with a chronic illness changed everything for her. While many find it hard to continue, to sustain their fighting spirit, Blair is here to tell you that yes, you can fight, and things do get better. She’s living proof!
During her exclusive chat with SheKnows, she talked with us about her health journey, her bond with her teenage son, and how she’s going with the flow in her new era.
At the beginning of our chat, Blair gleefully told us how she’s thriving: boxing, horseback riding, and advocating for everyone. “I’m in that stage of balance. I’m trying to increase my stamina here. I’m doing really, really great now … and trying to get more exercise and do things that I always did when I was young,” she said. “I’m also, of course, doing this campaign with Express4MS, which is something really near and dear to me. Advocating for people, raising awareness for people to be able to advocate for themselves and to really find the right culture, the right people you can speak to so you can really learn your own language of how to advocate for you.”
“That is why I love that you can go on, share your story, and hear other people’s stories so you can highlight the need for more information for yourself. So it’s all part of the advocating and getting to know your own journey and feeling good,” she said. “Don’t give up because you might think you understand [what’s happening], things always change. When I first found out I had MS, and I’ve had it for a long time, it took me even a while to realize my own language … Sometimes you just have to find the truth of it and it’s showing other people’s story.”
In fact, Blair opened up to SheKnows about how, before her diagnosis, she felt like something was wrong. She was always so tired, always so out of it, and she started to blame herself as a parent for not being there 100 percent. But it all changed when one thing happened: “Once I realized I actually had something, it was to get a diagnosis was best thing for me. It was very validating and made me think, ‘Okay, I’m not losing my mind.'”
“It can be very trial-and-error to advocate for yourself,” she said, discussing how there’s so much power in really hearing other people’s stories. “When I’d get a frame of reference, I would look just in the beginning. There wasn’t any real information and I couldn’t find anything with MS.” She then shouted out her friend Jamie King, saying how lucky she was to have a friend that “cared about me” to do things like take her to appointments and talk to the doctor, because Blair was just too tired.
Arthur Saint Bleick and Selma Blair
Speaking of her support system, her teen son, Arthur, is always in her corner, and she loves that he’s finally in the teen years.
“Teenagers are amazing. I’m so glad he’s not an infant now. There are so many funny things. He still is a kid, but he does know Mom’s boundaries, and I’m just proud of him. My little saint, he’s a regular kid and I’m very lucky,” she beamed, talking about how him being grown and being able to communicate has helped their bond. “I know a lot of moms and dads too that have real issues — they really feel sorry for what their kids go through. Kids learn hard lessons, and it’s okay as long as they’re being loved and supported.”
She added, “It’s a different kind of relationship for sure, but it’s really normal for these kids to break away anyhow. And the ones that are closest, sometimes rebel. [But] I know that’s normal. I wasn’t close enough with my mother to treat her like this — you know, so mean. He’s still good.”
Truly, she’s so happy about the teen years, and in those years, her co-parenting relationship has become stronger.
“I find being a parent with a chronic illness does help me communicate with my son and helped me with some boundaries. You wanna do everything, and kids need boundaries too. He’s the love of my life. The infant years are hard as a single mom, you wanna rely on someone else. Now I have a great relationship with his dad,” she said, referring to her ex, Jason Bleick. She continued by discussing how co-parenting was “huge” and “that was advocating for myself too with him. Like, ‘This is what I need from you, Jason, and this is when I need you to take him. I can’t do it.’ So I do rely on people, I think it’s gotten us close.”
And amid the flare-ups, the highs, lows, and everything in between, Blair reminds herself of one thing: “Smile in life. Like, it’s okay. My kid’s alive, I’m alive. What else do I need?”
Selma Blair
Blair is currently working with EMD Serono on the Express4MS campaign, to encourage anyone living with MS to know they are not defined by the disease. She ideally wants to encourage folks to visit Express4MS.com to see stories from other people with MS and see how advocating for yourself and sharing your journey is empowering.
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