The 20 Best ‘Anchorman’ Jokes in Honor of Its 20th Anniversary
Exactly 20 years ago, a legend was born. He was like a god walking amongst mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a hobo. His name was Ron Burgundy, and for the 20th anniversary of his arrival upon this Earth, we’ve assembled 20 Hall of Fame-worthy jokes and one-liners from Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.
1 Ron Burgundy: “I love Scotch. I love Scotch. Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch. Here it goes down. Down into my belly”
2 Ron Burgundy: “I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal”
3 Brick Tamland: “I ate a big red candle”
4 Champ Kind: “It’s anchorman, not anchorlady! And that’s a scientific fact!”
5 Brian Fantana: “Sixty Percent of the time it works every time”
6 Ron Burgundy: “They named it San Diago, which, of course, in German means a whale’s vagina”
7 Brick Tamland: “I love lamp”
8 Champ Kind: “I’m a mess without ya. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you. I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent. I miss your musk”
9 Ron Burgundy: “I know that one day, Veronica and I are gonna get married on top of a mountain. And there’s going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside, and you won’t be invited!”
10 Ron Burgundy: “I’m gonna punch you in the ovary”
11 Announcer: “You’re watching Channel 4 News with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee”
12 Ron Burgundy: “Who is this? Baxter, is that you? Baxter! Bark twice if you’re in Milwaukee”
13 Ron Burgundy: “It’s so damn hot! Milk was a bad choice!”
14 Ron Burgundy: “I immediately regret this decision”
15 Wes Mantooth: “Deep down in my stomach, with every inch of me, I pure, straight hate you! But, God damn it, do I respect you!”
16 Narrator: “Champ Kind went on to become a commentator for the NFL, but was later fired after being accused of sexual harassment by Terry Bradshaw”
17 Ron Burgundy: “I’m gonna shoot you with a BB gun when you’re not looking”
18 Champ Kind: “Whammy!”
19 Ron Burgundy: “You stay classy, San Diego”
20 Ron Burgundy: “Go fuck yourself, San Diego”
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