‘Like losing a friend’: Why Malcolm-Jamal Warner’s death hit Gen Xers so hard
Oh no, not Theo.
That was my first thought — and that of millions of Generation Xers — when the news broke this week of Malcolm-Jamal Warner’s accidental drowning death in Costa Rica at age 54.
From 1984 to 1992, Warner starred as Theodore “Theo” Huxtable on “The Cosby Show.” For years, NBC’s Thursday night sitcom about an upper-middle-class Black family reigned as America’s most popular TV program.
BREAKING: Malcolm-Jamal Warner, who played Theo Huxtable on "The Cosby Show," dies at 54 in an accidental drowning in Costa Rica, authorities say. https://t.co/yGfqPxwCZx
— The Associated Press (@AP) July 21, 2025
The fictional family — with only son Theo sandwiched between two older and two younger sisters — became a must-see cultural phenomenon. While not overtly religious in nature, the hit show promoted values that resonated strongly with people of faith.
“America’s family,” some called the endearing Huxtables. And Theo was a major reason for the appeal. At a time when prime-time network TV remained appointment viewing (read: pre-streaming era), the final episode drew 44 million viewers.
Everyone, it seemed, loved “The Cosby Show.”
“It didn’t matter what race or religion you were,” recalled Clemente Lisi, a Gen Xer and Religion Unplugged’s executive editor.
But for African American teens in the 1980s, the positive portrayal of a family who looked like them — and ate dinner together and did their best to make proper choices — was especially thrilling.
For Shay Cathey, it didn’t hurt that Theo was a heartthrob.
“He was the boy crush that never broke your heart because he was a really good guy,” said Cathey, 52, a mother of three sons and the senior adviser to a Texas county judge. She attends the Central Pointe Church of Christ in Dallas.
“The Cosby Show,” featuring Malcolm-Jamal Warner, far left, as only son Theo Huxtable, was the most popular show on TV for much of the 1980s.
But the girls weren’t the only Gen Xers who felt a strong connection with Theo.
“For an African American male kid, Theo was your guy,” said Dion Frasier, 51, who preaches for the Reynoldsburg Church of Christ in Ohio. “He was the one we resonated with. Whether it was his dealings with school, his interactions with girls, having sisters — I identified with all of that.”
When Barack Obama won election as the nation’s first Black president in 2008, some gave credit to “The Cosby Show” for helping pave the way.
They suggested the “departure from the dysfunction and bickering that had characterized some previous shows about black families had succeeded in changing racial attitudes enough to make an Obama candidacy possible,” the New York Times reported in November 2008.
Warner’s character “was not the smartest of the Huxtable kids. He wasn’t the coolest,” Washington Post senior critic-at-large Robin Givhan wrote. “But he was the one who embodied the powerful, delightful, exceptional normalcy of being a Black boy.”
On the first of 197 episodes over eight seasons, 13-year-old Theo tried valiantly to justify his poor report card to his father, Dr. Cliff Huxtable, played by later disgraced comedian Bill Cosby.
“You’re a doctor, and Mom’s a lawyer, and you’re both successful at everything, and that’s great!” Theo emphasized. “But maybe I was born to be a regular person and have a regular life. If you weren’t a doctor, I wouldn’t love you less because you’re my dad. And so, instead of acting disappointed because I’m not like you, maybe you could accept who I am and love me anyway because I’m your son.”
The studio audience clapped, but Cliff’s response made it clear this would be no ordinary sitcom — the children would not be portrayed as smarter than the parents.
“Theo, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life!” Cosby’s character replied to laughter from the crowd. “No wonder you get D’s in everything. Now, you are afraid to try because you’re afraid that your brain is going to explode, and it’s going to ooze out of your ears. But I’m telling you that you are going to try as hard as you can. And you’re going to do it because I said so. I am your father. I brought you into this world, and I’ll take you out.”
Even three-plus decades after the show — based loosely on Cosby’s standup routines and personal life — ended, Warner’s sudden passing hit longtime fans hard.
“It’s like losing a friend,” Cathey said, “like a friend you haven’t necessarily stayed in touch with, but you always knew where they were.”
Frasier echoed that sentiment: “It’s like you’re losing the dude you most identified with during your formative years. And it’s crazy … because it’s not like he was my neighbor or we went to church together. But he was in our house, so it’s kind of like he was a part of the family.”
“It’s like you’re losing the dude you most identified with during your formative years. And it’s crazy … because it’s not like he was my neighbor or we went to church together. But he was in our house, so it’s kind of like he was a part of the family.”
I know the feeling, albeit as a White Gen Xer more drawn to the entertainment value of “The Cosby Show” than any shattering of negative racial stereotypes.
I watched reruns for years and even enjoyed interviewing Cosby in 2003 before he led a morale-boosting “pep rally” at Baylor University in Waco, Texas, then embroiled in a scandal over a basketball player’s death. But in the years that followed, scandal came for Cosby himself as more than 50 women accused him of sexual assault and misconduct. Cosby served three years in prison before a judge threw out his sexual assault conviction in 2021.
Turned off by those negative headlines, I — like a lot of fans of the show — hit the pause button on my love and affection for the Huxtables.
News of Warner’s death made me reflect on the show for the first time in a long while — and wonder if it might be time to put the art ahead of Cosby’s alleged misdeeds.
Taneise Perry, a Black mother of three sons who worships with the Kingdom Church of Christ in Charlotte, N.C., advocates that approach.
“I am very much able to separate the art from the person,” Perry, 47, an advertising executive and entrepreneur who lives in South Carolina, told me. “It’s a television show, right? And at the time, we certainly weren’t aware of the indiscretions that were occurring with Bill Cosby. So I have nothing but nostalgic and good feelings with regard to the show.”
Perry posted on Facebook that Warner’s legacy — as Theo — “lives on in the Black boys who finally saw themselves represented … free from stereotypes. Excellent and human at the same time.”
Unlike Cosby, Warner maintained his positive reputation throughout his life. Although he kept his life outside his acting career private, Beliefnet noted:
In recent years, Warner also opened up about his spiritual journey, sharing his Christian faith with quiet conviction. He posted on social media about trusting in Christ and emphasized the importance of treating others well, rooted in Christ’s teachings. In 2016, he became an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church, and he often discussed the need for compassion, redemption, and grace. Warner once said he believed that “good works without Christ are meaningless” and that “God is love, not a dictator.”
(It’s not difficult to get ordained by the Universal Life Church. Warner apparently did so to officiate the wedding of a friend. I did so myself in 2001 to show what $29.95 could buy you quickly.)
Since this is a religion column, I’ll note that “The Cosby Show” seldom, if ever, dealt directly with faith. I don’t recall the family ever going to a house of worship (I am open to corrections on this point!).
Yet people of faith who watched the show often saw their principles reflected in the Huxtables — be it properly disciplining a child caught misbehaving or demonstrating compassion to a neighbor in need.
“For most of us, how they lived their lives — at least in our living rooms on Thursday nights — was an extension of how we lived our lives as Christians,” Cathey said. “You could find your faith and your values in that show very easily.”
Shay Cathey with her three sons.
Perry agreed: “Just how they were able to take those everyday situations and just turn it into comedy and something that the entire family could sit down and laugh at was a huge moment for American culture.”
After starting with the focus on teenage Theo’s bad grades, the series ended eight years later with the 21-year-old receiving a degree in psychology from New York University — a major accomplishment after he dealt with learning challenges such as dyslexia.
“Theo kind of made it cool and accepting — in an African American community — to be smart, to go to school, to get your degree,” Frasier said. “And it was a family that reinforced that.
“That’s very much ethics that we teach in our churches and in our faith communities,” the minister added, “but it’s certainly suggestive of the values that we’ve grown up in church learning.”
Those values — as well as the laudable character Warner demonstrated after “The Cosby Show” — help explain why so many are mourning the actor’s tragic death.
BOBBY ROSS JR. is Editor-in-Chief of The Christian Chronicle. Ross writes the Weekend Plug-in column for Religion Unplugged, where this piece originally appeared. Reach him at [email protected].
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