How to Help Someone Cope Through Their Anxiety
Medically reviewed by Kira Graves, PhDMedically reviewed by Kira Graves, PhDWhen your loved one is experiencing anxiety, you might be struggling with how to help them. Dealing with anxiety is very personal, and so is helping a loved one who is anxious. In general, it’s best to validate the person’s emotions rather than trying to argue with them or tell them that they are overreacting. At the same time, it’s OK to express concern as you guide your loved one toward getting help.
Many Types of AnxietyAnxiety is an overwhelming feeling of fear or worry. Some anxiety is a normal part of life, but many people experience extreme anxiety that can lead to anxiety disorders.There are several types of anxiety disorder. For example, someone with social anxiety may have trouble leaving the house or engaging with others. A person with a panic disorder may experience extreme bouts of anxiety that make it difficult to work or go about day-to-day activities.
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Ways to Help Someone With AnxietyWhen someone is dealing with anxiety, it’s important to empathize with them and their feelings. It may be tempting to tell them to "snap out of it” or not to overreact, but saying those things is not helpful. Instead, validate what the person is feeling, while also directing them to seek help for their anxiety, through counseling or medication.Anxiety affects 18% of the population, and it’s no one’s fault.Over Text or CallSupporting someone from afar can be challenging. It’s best to communicate in short, clear sentences. A person experience anxiety has a lot going on physically and emotionally, which can make it difficult to follow a conversation.Helping someone with anxiety by text or phone can look very similar to helping someone in person. First, validate their experience. Ask them what they need. Ensure they are physically safe and not having any thoughts of self-harm.Here are some texts you could send:You will get through this. You’re not alone. Anxiety is very common. I’ve felt overwhelmed before too. Here’s what helped me.What can I do for you?Are you somewhere safe? What you’re feeling is scary, but it’s not dangerous. It will pass. It’s not the place that’s bothering you, it’s the thought. Let’s take five deep breaths together. We can share that even though we’re apart. You can also offer to connect from afar by streaming calming music, nature sounds, a guided meditation, or a calming podcast. In addition you can use grounding techniques, like asking the person to share something that they can see, hear, taste, smell, and touch.In Person If you are with someone who is experiencing anxiety, you can use all the same lines as above. However, there are additional tools you have since you are physically with your loved one. When you’re together, you can try:Breathing together: Practice slow inhalations and exhalations, and the person will probably begin to mirror your breathing. Going for a walk: Physical activity can be helpful in regulating the physical impacts of anxiety. Moving outside: Nature is often very calming, so if possible try moving outside to be around open sky, plants, or water. Finding quiet: Go to a quiet, calm place with the person.Touching: Ask your loved one if they would like to be touched since some people find touch soothing, while others do not.To Help Them Sleep Getting to sleep with anxiety can be difficult. If your loved one is struggling to sleep, try these techniques to help:Go for an afternoon walk outdoors: Physical exercise and sunlight both help regulate circadian rhythms, so doing this can help you and your loved one sleep easier. Maintain a cool, dark room: This can help your loved one fall asleep.Avoid screens before bed: Instead, opt to read a book together or listen to calming music. Don’t toss and turn: If your loved one can’t get to sleep within 20 minutes, encourage them to get out of bed, do a calm, quiet activity, and try to get to sleep again later. While it might seem helpful to share a glass of wine to help your loved one relax, alcohol can make sleep difficult and heighten anxiety. Instead, try sharing a caffeine-free cup of tea. Steps to Help Someone Through a Panic Attack With AnxietyA panic attack is an acute bout of anxiety. It can be very scary for you, since your loved one can have physical symptoms like sweating and a racing heart.If your loved one is having a panic attack, you must stay calm. It can be helpful to name what’s happening, by saying “You’re having a panic attack. It feels awful but you’ve gotten through this before. You will this time too.”Here’s how to help when someone is having a panic attack:Get them to a calm, quiet spot.Ask if they have any medication to use during their panic attack. If they’ve had a panic attack before, ask what has helped. Encourage them to focus on their breathing. Stay with them. Try using grounding techniques, like pressing their feet into the floor, holding ice on their wrists, or doing simple math problems as a distraction.
Coping With COVID AnxietyThe pandemic led to an uptick in anxiety, and some people have specific anxiety about themselves or their loved ones contracting the SARS-CoV-2 virus that leads to COVID-19. If your loved one struggles with COVID anxiety, encourage them to cope by doing the following:Limit the news they take in. While it’s important to stay informed, too much news can be overwhelming and trigger anxiety. Seek out positive news, including about advancements in vaccination and treatment of COVID. Take responsible precautions, like using hand sanitizer and wearing a mask.Make slow progress toward regaining their social life.
How to Avoid Making Someone’s Anxiety WorseFor better or worse, there’s little that you can do to impact someone else’s anxiety levels. However, there are common mistakes that you can avoid. When someone is having anxiety, respond to what they’re feeling, rather than arguing that it’s an overreaction. Remember, their feeling is real, even if logically you can see what it’s an outsized response. Here are some things to avoid if you’re trying to help someone with anxiety:Do not try to talk them out of it: Even if you can logically prove that their anxiety is misdirected, their feelings are still the same. Instead, remind them that they’re experiencing anxiety and they will make it through. Try not to panic: Remaining a calm presence is crucial. Don’t push them to do things: Forcing confrontation or moving someone beyond their comfort zone can backfire. Don’t enable them: It might be tempting to try to “solve” the anxiety by removing stressful situations, like social events or family expectations. However, that can make anxiety worse in the long run. Don’t expect a quick fix: While there are lots of treatments available for anxiety, making meaningful progress takes time. Encourage your loved one to get help, but expect some bumps on the road to recovery. Professional Anxiety Help to ConsultWhen anxiety begins to impact a person’s daily life, it’s time to seek professional help. Treatments for anxiety include daily medication, as-needed medication that can be used during panic attacks, and therapy. Encourage your loved one to see a professional to discuss their anxiety. Offer to help them make appointments and find providers, but make sure that they’re working toward getting help too. It’s important that they want to get help, and are ready to put in the hard work. SummaryHelping a loved one with anxiety can be a lot of work. Remember, it’s best to validate your loved one’s feelings. During calmer moments, point out how their anxiety is impacting their life. Encourage them to seek professional help, and give them assistance if they want it. Read the original article on Verywell Health.
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