Her Husband Lied And Didn’t Pay Their Mortgage For Close To A Year, So They Might Lose Their House
Several days ago, this 34-year-old woman made a shocking discovery. Apparently, her 41-year-old husband hasn’t been paying their mortgage for the last eleven months.
She trusted that he was making sure the mortgage was covered, but he lied to her face about it, so they might lose their house.
Now, she and her husband have separate finances and their own bank accounts. The only things they are both on are her husband’s car and their home.
Her husband makes twice what she does, and they divide up their bills in a way that they both think is equal.
They each have credit card debt that they acquired before knowing one another, and they are working to pay that off.
“One of the things he covers is the mortgage in full,” she explained. “He works in accounting, and I work in education.”
“I have never been great at managing my money, so he does my monthly budget for me, has access to all of my accounts, and knows what my debts are. There has always been a veil of secrecy around his situation, but he has always assured me everything was fine on his end; money was always tight, but he was always almost caught up.”
“When I would ask specific questions, he would get kind of defensive, and I felt it wasn’t worth digging for more info and took his word on things. Taking his word on things was pretty naive of me, considering our biggest issues in the past had revolved around him lying.”
Back when she began dating her husband, he mentioned he was trying to complete his master’s degree, but she later learned he was only completing his bachelor’s.
slavun – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
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He lied to her and claimed to have finished his bachelor’s program already. She confronted him, and he said sorry while acknowledging he felt humiliated.
Her husband’s reason for the lie was that he felt shame over her having a higher level of education than he did.
She let it go, as it made her feel bad that he was so embarrassed, and she thought his apology was genuine.
Later on, around a year following the birth of their son, she caught her husband lying about smoking cigarettes.
The third lie she noticed was a year ago when her husband didn’t make his car payment on time. She also pointed out to him that if he was having a problem paying their bills to please inform her, but he said that wasn’t the case.
Then, a couple of days ago, she was given a notice that daycare payments for their son were behind.
She questioned her husband about it, and he lied to her once more while claiming he couldn’t take a certain amount of money out of the ATM to make the payments.
“I couldn’t let this go as I felt in my bones he was lying, and I asked him if things were ok and if he needed help,” she said.
“Was the mortgage current? He said yeah, it should be. Then I asked again and begged him to tell me the l truth, and I found out he hadn’t paid the mortgage in 11 months.”
“He says he is sorry; he feels bad. He didn’t know what to do. About a year ago, his health insurance costs increased dramatically, and he could no longer afford the mortgage. Instead of asking me to take on the insurance through my job or talking to me at all he decided to just not pay it.”
She was pregnant when her husband made this decision, and he says he didn’t want to bring it up and stress her out.
Last week, her husband applied for relief in regards to their mortgage, so he’s waiting to hear if they qualify.
If they don’t, they’re headed right into foreclosure. She can’t let this go; she feels furious as well as stabbed in the back.
Her husband insists he was trying to simply “protect her,” but she can’t believe it. He has also let it slip that he was too terrified to give her the truth.
She has since asked her husband to give her access to all of his accounts, and after fighting her at first and getting mad, he forked it over.
“As far as I can tell, no gambling or drug addiction or anything crazy, just living beyond our means and an alarming amount of DoorDash charges,” she continued.
“I always knew he would lie about things that weren’t super important but thought he was overall a responsible, reasonable person, and I never in a million years would have imagined he would do something like this to our family. Is this something we could come back from?”
“How big a deal is lying like this? I know we need counseling for the abysmal communication in the relationship, but the lying at this scale makes it hard to believe I’ll be able to fully trust him again. Also, [being] possibly homeless, I’m sure, will place another strain on the relationship.”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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