Many Grandparents Are Raising Their Grandkids Alone–Here’s How To Support Them
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'Grandfamilies' are real and thriving–just differently.
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Fact checked by Sari HitchinsFact checked by Sari HitchinsA pilot program in Alabama called "Grandparents as Parents", founded by Keith Lowhorne, supports grandparents who have stepped in to raise their grandkids. The program is gaining attention nationally, as more than 2.5 million children in the United States are growing up in "grandfamilies", according to national advocacy group Generations United's 2022 "State of Grandfamilies" report."Grandfamilies" are grandparents, aunts, uncles, and extended family members who raise children when their birth parents cannot. Often, grandparents are the first alternative choice to become their grandkids' primary caregivers. Lowhorne says parental addiction is driving the formation of new grandfamilies, but also things like incarceration or negligence. However, there are a myriad of other reasons—whether it's cultural, income, or work-related, or families needing additional support. No matter the reason, these families face difficult and unique challenges.According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2021, 32.7% of grandparents living with their grandchildren under age 18 were responsible for their care. About one-third cared for children under 6.We asked experts to shed light on the realities of children being raised by grandparents, the specific needs of grandfamilies, and the ways grandfamilies should be recognized and supported. Enhance Financial AssistanceAcross the U.S., grandfamilies don't have access to the same welfare resources and public programs available to the traditional family structure. But there are programs such as "Grandparents as Parents," "Foster Kinship" (a statewide support program in Nevada), "Grandfamilies and Kinship Families," and others that can help alleviate that.Raising grandkids later in life on limited incomes can severely strain grandparents who may be retired, on a limited budget, or without a high-paying job. After reaching a certain age, finding a job can be difficult. Lowhorne started the Grandparents as Parents program to assist many of the grandfamilies in Alabama living below the poverty line and surviving on fixed incomes from pensions, Social Security, or disability payments.Grandparents need financial resources to raise kids (again), including more public and private-funded programs to assist with costs for groceries, household goods, and other necessities.Angela Kenzslowe, PsyD, MBA, a clinical psychologist, and the founder of Purple Heart Behavioral Health LLC agrees."The kinds of assistance that grandparents need to raise their grandkids can be quite vast. These types of resources and initiatives could help grandparents give their grandkids the strong, loving home their grandchildren deserve," Dr. Kenzslowe says.Increase Access to Community Support ProgramsData from the U.S. Office of Human Services shows in 2019, three out of ten people and nearly half of U.S. children participated in an assistance program. There are government programs that offer support, but along with those, specific and local support programs can provide an opportunity for more immediate help.Steven Kniffley Jr., PsyD, is a Senior Associate Dean and Associate Professor at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine. He cites an African Proverb that states, "It takes a village to raise a child.""However, due to death, disease, and disruption, more and more grandparents are being called upon to be the village for their grandchildren, notes Dr. Kniffley Jr. "A number of difficulties may arise in families that span generations with the biological parent absent, including bridging cultural divides, healing from inter-generational trauma, and building a family identity."When community support is more accessible, grandfamilies can supplement their current capabilities and ultimately grow their village. Dr. Kenzslowe points out that legal assistance is another significantly needed resource. Being recognized as a child's legal custodian or guardian is costly and difficult, so having access to legal help can be extremely important."Respite and other community programs, such as support groups, allow the grandparents to spend time with other people facing the same struggle and provide opportunities to take a much-needed break," adds Dr. Kenzslowe. Provide Educational and Mental Health SupportStepping into the role of parent takes an emotional toll, especially if the family is already struggling or lacking resources. Ruschelle Khanna, a licensed clinical social worker in New York as well as other states, has been a family therapist for over 20 years."One under-discussed factor in addressing grandfamilies is the impact of generational trauma on the family system," Khanna says. "Unresolved family trauma leads to patterns of repeat incarceration, drug abuse, and neglect within family systems. Mental health organizations can place more emphasis on healing generational trauma by developing programs which focus on the key areas of healing inherited trauma."Khanna notes that many grandparents struggle with the skills to navigate the systems meant to support them."Grandparents, particularly in lower income and rural communities, have challenges. It is important for community organizations to emphasize the need to improve these skills to improve grandparent's ability to advocate for themselves," she says.Dr. Kenzslowe adds that grandparents raising their grandchildren also need and deserve to receive emotional support and space to breathe. Therapy specifically designed for grandfamilies can help them cope with the realities of being a primary caregiver again.Cultivate a Culture of Celebrating GrandparentsLynsey Retzlaff, a licensed clinical social worker, founder of Lynsey Retzlaff Wellness, LLC, and licensed therapist in Wisconsin emphasizes that in addition to timely resources and guidance, celebrating grandparents is essential."When grandparents take on the primary caregiver role, they offer a child a unique blend of wisdom and experience," says Retzlaff. "While they pass down invaluable traditions and life lessons, I have witnessed them encounter challenges related to societal shifts that can impact the child's well-being."Examples of this celebration can be appreciation events that are general or culturally specific to highlight those pouring love and time into kids. Humans thrive when they are recognized and appreciated. In addition, Dr. Kniffley Jr. says the significant age gap between grandparent and grandchild can contribute to cultural mismatches related to technological savviness and effective discipline practices."The absence of a biological parent can create a shadow over the family, contributing to trauma for the lost generation and collective grieving," says Dr. Kniffley Jr. Dr. Kniffley Jr. says open communication must be fostered in the family, creating a space where every member feels heard, and given space to learn from mistakes and maintain unconditional love. For more Parents news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter! Read the original article on Parents.
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