How To Be Vulnerable With A Man Without Being Needy: 2 Examples
How to be vulnerable with a man?
How do you show vulnerability without crossing over into needy territory?
The definition of ‘vulnerable’ from the Cambridge dictionary is:
Able to be easily physically, emotionally, or mentally hurt, influenced or attacked.
This is the official definition of being vulnerable. Allow me to add to that my own definition in simple words.
What is the meaning of vulnerability in simple words?
It means that you are more sensitive to feeling and that you are more easily swayed by external changes.
Are Women More Vulnerable than Men?
We are all vulnerable.
However, I believe women are especially vulnerable according to the traditional definition of vulnerability.
In fact, I’d argue that women with a feminine essence are the most vulnerable.
Why are women extra vulnerable?
We are extra vulnerable because we are (whether we like it or not), not as physically strong as men.
Even if a man is smaller than you, he’s still stronger.
However, more than that is the reality that we women have a womb. Men don’t.
Due to that fact (among many other factors), we can get emotionally attached quicker than men.
This leaves us with an intense emotional vulnerability that many women prefer to avoid or sweep under the carpet.
Due to a woman’s inherent attachment to, and focus on love and relationship, we get emotionally attached.
We also tend to hold onto things for longer in matters of love, dating and relationship.
Yes, it’s a challenge to be a woman!
It’s a huge responsibility to be a woman.
This is why it’s important to honour your innate vulnerability, rather than avoiding it.
When you avoid it, you not only show up less feminine, you also create for yourself horrible problems with men.
Why?
Due to the fact that when we push our vulnerable feelings under the carpet, we are leaving issues and problems to pile up.
However, these will eventually burst out later on.
Do our feminine energy quiz: how feminine am i really?
0%
Fact: Most women do not live day to day in their feminine energy. Are you? Answer the next 9 questions and discover exactly how much you are living in your feminine core...
1. Which of these comments make me feel the most alive?
"How would you like to travel around the world?"
"OMG You’re looking amazing in that outfit."
"I bet you can't figure out fit 2 cheeseburgers in your mouth"
"None of these"
2. In a high pressured situation, my natural instinct is to...
"Eliminate distractions whilst tunnel vision sets in."
"Create comfort by speaking to friends or eating something."
"Avoid the situation or feel depressed about it."
"None of these."
3. In the bedroom, i prefer someone who is...
"Bigger than me physically"
"Smaller than me physically"
"Same size as me physically"
"I have little or no preference"
4. If I’m in a supermarket, and I can’t find something…
"I politely ask the first shop assistant I spot"
"I walk up and down the isles until I find it"
"Don't care, whatever is most convenient"
"None of these."
5. If i had a deadline for a project in a month, I tend to...
"Start now and get most of it done so I don't stress later"
"Pressure is good, I'd rather start closer to the deadline"
"Plan out week by week what I need to do"
"I have no idea..."
6. When I am cooking, I can also carry on a conversation over the phone...
"Very easily, I can probably juggle at the same time."
"It's not easy, but I can manage if I really focus"
"no chance... one thing at a time for me"
"I don't know..."
7. Which of the following describes the kind of intimate partners you’ve had in the past...
"My partners have tended to assume they are right about everything"
"They tell me that they think I always think I’m right about everything"
"Things tend to go smoothly with my past partners"
"I'm not too sure..."
8. It would hurt me more if my intimate partner were to say to me:
"You are looking tired and run down lately"
"You seem to be losing your drive and your direction."
"You really treat men differently than you treat women"
"None of these"
9. In my ultimate dream world, I would rather…
"Trust and follow my own direction"
"Trust and follow my lover’s direction"
"We should both follow our own unique directions"
"I don't actually know..."
Amazing! Let's look at your results...
We are analysing your quiz results right now and preparing a comprehensive summary. (It's a 15 min read)
This in-depth explanation and analysis will give you all the answers as to how feminine you are and how that affects every relationship you will have.
Please enter your first name and email below so that we can safely deliver your results and explanation to you. (As well as give you $3,765 worth of coaching bonuses!) And yes, we'll treat your email like it was our firstborn.
0%
Is vulnerability a strength?
It’s only a strength if you don’t fight hard against it (to stay in control).
Alternatively stated, the strength of vulnerability lies in your ability to be at one with it.
There’s no use feeling deeply hurt, sad or angry, only to hold it all in and wait for a later time to unleash it – because that’s more about power and control.
On that note, here’s a video I made on “Should I Control My Emotions to Be High Value?”:
The Question is: Do Men See You as Vulnerable?
By nature, all humans are vulnerable.
All women are vulnerable.
However, do others (especially men) feel and see you as vulnerable?
Quite possibly not!
This is because most of us are very bad at being vulnerable.
In fact, most of us don’t run in peer groups that support vulnerability, and nor do we live in a society that fosters vulnerability.
In many parts of the world, what is valued is small talk, being ‘cool’, fitting in, having a safe peer group, getting a great career and being well off.
None of the typically valued things in modern society support us as women when we are on a quest to be vulnerable with a man.
So, authentic vulnerability is something that we must to commit to cultivating ourselves.
This authenticity is one of the key factors that makes you a high value woman in dating.
It has to be a standard through which we live by.
And we have to decide to be more vulnerable because we care about connecting with a man.
Not because we assume that if we were to be more vulnerable, then he would be manipulated into being there for us.
Being vulnerable is never authentic unless it is pure.
When it’s pure, it fosters a healthy emotional connection between a man and a woman, and it makes a man fall deeply in love with you!
SPECIAL REPORT: How to Become the World’s Most Attractive & Feminine Goddess (Even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention…) CLICK HERE to download it at no cost.
How can you be more vulnerable?
It’s easy to be vulnerable with our girlfriends, but it’s harder ‘get’ how to be vulnerable with a man.
This is because it usually feels like there’s more at stake with a guy, so it feels risky to show vulnerability.
I’m not meaning to be flippant, but the short answer to the question ‘how to be more vulnerable?’ is BE vulnerable.
Let me share an example with you.
What are some examples of being vulnerable?
Imagine a homeless person.
He’s all alone in the street, without food, water, shelter and human companionship.
He sleeps on the park bench during freezing winter nights and his mental health is all but ruined.
Imagine him feeling the plight of his situation. He sinks into a despair so great that he cannot hold back his emotion.
So he starts to really feel his sorrow and pain. He surrenders to the aches in his joints and the anguish in his heart.
You walk past and you see the tears falling from his face. You see his back and forth rocking, his arms cradling himself in a futile attempt to get warm.
This is a man in full grieving. It’s him being vulnerable, and there’s no way around that fact.
Recommended: What Is Wife Material? 13 Wifey Traits Men Always Look For.
The Difference Between Vulnerability & Neediness
Let’s contrast this emotional, vulnerable response of the homeless man with a needy response.
Now, make a mental picture in your mind of the same homeless man just begging for money on the street.
In the first example, this homeless man is completely vulnerable. He’s just feeling no matter what anyone says or thinks of him.
In the second example, he’s taking value.
Both of these responses from the homeless man are due to the same cause – his plight. However, these two reactions feel different to the people around him.
Related reading: Is It Really “Feminine” To Receive? (& Other Crazy Myths About Masculine & Feminine Energy).
How to be Vulnerable? Feel Authentic Emotion, Don’t be Needy!
When this homeless person was feeling, was he needy?
No, not at all. Perhaps the odd person here and there might label him as needy, but the essence of what he is doing is not needy.
He’s just feeling!
His second response of begging for money in the street however, that would indeed come across needy.
Related reading: Pickmeisha Vs high Value Woman: 3 Signs You’re A Pickme Girl.
Do the quiz: What is my attachment style?
0%
Fact: 54% of all women have insecure attachment styles and it affects their relationships daily. Answer the next 10 questions to discover what your attachment style is.
1. When it comes to relating to people in general…
I believe people are generally dependable and kind
I get attached to people easily and they often let me down
I don’t believe I can truly trust anyone
People will always come and go
2. To me, the word intimacy intuitively feels
Foreign
Scary
Warm
Angry
3. In my relationship, I tend to constantly…
Worry that my partner will stop loving me one day
Feel repelled when my partner gets too intimate and close to me
Want to learn more about my partner without fear of judgment
Find faults in my partner
4. In my partner’s absence, I…
Look forward to seeing him again
Feel anxious and don’t know what to do
Feel incomplete
Feel free
5. In my most ideal relationship… (choose the one you feel strongest about.)
We would have our own lives & wouldn’t have to depend on each other
I would receive constant love and attention
We would be deeply connected above all else
To feel safe, I would want to have more control in the relationship
6. If a man that I was interested in started to banter with me…
I’d effortlessly banter back
I’d freeze and not know what to say
I’d redirect the conversation because banter is childish
7. If I suspect that my partner has been cheating on me…
I would rather not know about it
I’d ask them about it until they confess
I’d investigate it & find out as much as I can without coming to conclusions
I’d instantly get stressed out of my mind and become angry
8. When it comes to sex… I’d rather have
Casual sex with uncommitted partners
Intimate sex with a committed partner
I’d rather avoid sex.
9. If I share my deepest feelings and thoughts
Perhaps no one would care
Perhaps people may no longer love me
Perhaps I can resonate with the deepest feelings of others
I would never share my deepest feelings
10. If someone I’m dating suddenly becomes cold and distant…
I feel indifferent, even relieved as they’ll need less from me.
I feel like perhaps I’ve done something wrong or perhaps they’ve found someone new
I feel like I need to delve deeper into what is happening without feeling sorry for myself.
I feel angry and vengeful.
Great! Let's access your results & what it means for you..
We are analysing your personal attachment style results right now and preparing a comprehensive summary. On a side note, it is important to understand attachment styles as a sliding scale rather than a fixed set of categories. Here are the reason why…
1. Your attachment style is not fixed but rather plastic, meaning you can over time heal an insecure attachment style, just as you can create more insecurity in your attachment style if you hang around toxic people in your life. Having a sliding scale offers you a solid direction to move towards.
2. Attachment styles should be considered as secure or insecure attachment styles with levels of severity when it comes to insecure attachment. This helps you understand how your own attachment styles developed in the first place and what direction you need to take in order to heal from attachment style traumas. (We’ll explain this further in the first email you’ll get from us.)
3. Almost everyone with an insecure attachment style has multiple categories and patterns within that insecure attachment, (of course to differing degrees).
In other words, you don’t just have a pure anxious attachment style. That may be the predominant pattern in your nervous system, but there is also avoidant in there too when you’re nervous system is overloaded and sick of being anxious all the time. This is why it’s more important to see this framework as a sliding scale and not just a mere set of categories.
So your personal attachment style will fit along the scale you see below.
In order to get your personal attachment style score, please enter your best email address so that we can securely send this to you. (As well as give you $3,765 worth of coaching bonuses to help you cultivate secure attachment within yourself!)
And yes, we'll treat your email like it was our firstborn.
0%
Don’t Send Your Boyfriend Multiple Abusive Text Messages
Now I would like to use the example of a woman in a fairly new relationship with her boyfriend.
They’ve been together for around 3-9 months.
One day, this woman starts to feel frustrated that her boyfriend isn’t spending that much time with her.
She’s feeling lonely and wants his company, but he seems too busy with work, family and friends.
She’s getting to a point where her emotions are about to burst.
As an outlet, and as a way to be heard, she sends 25 abusive text messages to her boyfriend.
“Why haven’t you called??!”
“We’re breaking up now. Bye.”
“Don’t you GET it? I have needs too!”
That’s one way that she can try to feel. It’s not a good way, but at least she gets a little bit of her frustration out.
Now let’s imagine that instead of sending 25 abusive text messages, this woman gets a pen and a notepad, and writes a letter to her boyfriend.
Process Your Emotions, Write Them Down in A Letter
She writes….
“I was just thinking of the time we went for that walk along the beach while the sun set. I live for moments like that!”
“I also thought about that time we went to the circus and spent the evening together. Gosh, I miss you SO much.”
Does this cross over into ‘needy’ territory?
No.
In fact, if she writes a letter to him, later on if she feels like she blamed him or wrote things that would only cause damage, she has the choice to throw that letter away.
How do you show vulnerability?
Simply put, you surrender to feeling.
Consider if this woman was to simply feel.
Perhaps she doesn’t prefer to write a letter right now, but she’s bursting at the seams with anger.
So, she surrenders, just like the homeless man, and she feels it.
Would that come across differently to when she sent the 25 abusive text messages?
Sure, she might be alone when she feels (and she also might not be alone).
But the very act of feeling allows the emotion a time and place.
This leads her towards a healthier way to manage and deal with her own emotions.
It allows the emotion an outlet without abusing her boyfriend.
You see, the damage done by neediness is not done because we had feelings.
There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report.
How To Be Vulnerable With A Man?
Don’t be too scared or too lazy to feel.
Of course, not all neediness is abusive or ultimately even damaging.
We are all needy at times. That’s ok inside of a healthy relationship between two invested people.
It’s the ‘neediness’ that borders on abuse that becomes toxic.
But let’s try our best to take responsibility for being there for ourselves before we take it out on men.
Remember that just because we are women and we are emotional, doesn’t give us the right to let it out in an abusive way.
Let’s take responsibility for feeling, before it all becomes too much that the pipes in the sewer burst, and ‘you know what’ splatters all over someone that doesn’t deserve it.
Frequently Asked Questions About How To Be Vulnerable
What does it mean to be vulnerable with a man?
It means you show him the following behaviours (not necessarily all at once):
That as a feminine soul, you don’t have the same intuitive sense of masculine direction and problem solving skills as a man, so you need him and rely on his direction.
That you prioritise creating connection in the relationship over creating disconnects.
You’re capable of admitting and showing him that you feel afraid or uncertain.
CLICK HERE to LEARN the one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you.
Do guys find vulnerability attractive?
Whether or not guys find vulnerability attractive has to do with you.
Specifically, it has to do with how you express it, because you feeling vulnerable inside often looks very different to you expressing vulnerability (in the eyes of a man).
Simply put, women often feel vulnerable inside, but because they don’t feel safe expressing their vulnerability, instead from the perspective of a guy, it comes out as pushing him away, or as resentment, hatred or coldness.
Finally, have you ever wondered if there’s one specific thing, an emotional hot button, that when triggered inside a man, makes him want to commit to ONE woman, take care of her, worship her and only her?
If you would like to find out what this special hot button inside of every single man on earth is, you can find out here.
I also have an article on 4 Top secret Ways to Access Your High Value Vulnerability and a very special and much loved video by my husband on this same topic.
Love,Renée.
(By the way – YES, it’s ok to be fully vulnerable. Don’t let other people’s opinions of you get in the way of you doing you. Ok?)
P.S. CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.
If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.
By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.
Here’s my Youtube Channel The Feminine Woman.
Here’s The Feminine Woman Facebook page…
Here’s my Instagram Pages TheFeminineWoman
Welcome to Billionaire Club Co LLC, your gateway to a brand-new social media experience! Sign up today and dive into over 10,000 fresh daily articles and videos curated just for your enjoyment. Enjoy the ad free experience, unlimited content interactions, and get that coveted blue check verification—all for just $1 a month!
Account Frozen
Your account is frozen. You can still view content but cannot interact with it.
Please go to your settings to update your account status.
Open Profile Settings