Singles are suffering from ‘ghosting PTSD’ — it’s killing self-esteem and rewiring our brains
By Asia Grace
Susannah Hardwick is often haunted by the ghosts of potential partners past.
The singleton, 27, a newcomer to New York City, by way of the UK, told The Post she’s been ghosted — abruptly, unceremoniously dumped without provocation or forewarning — by roughly 40 men over the past year.
The back-to-back disappearing acts, pulled by guys she’s met both on matchmaking apps and in-person around the Big Apple, have left the Brit with lingering pains and scared emotions.
“Getting ghosted can really be destructive for your self-worth and self-esteem,” the aspiring opera singer, based in downtown Manhattan, told The Post.
Susannah Hardwick.
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Hardwick admits that she’s been jilted by dozens of men who initially showed strong interest in making a romantic connection.
Courtesy Susannah Harwick
Love experts call that residual hurt “ghosting PTSD.”
It’s a form of post-traumatic stress triggered by being suddenly and repeatedly abandoned during the beginning stages of a budding romance, per new research from Joi AI, an artificial intelligence-powered relationship platform.
“Google searches for ‘I got ghosted’ and ‘Why do people ghost’ have surged by +198% and +150% in recent weeks,” revealed study authors in the September report.
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Hardwick admitted she also turned to the internet for moral support following her series of love flops.
“I’ve been in situations where men have led me on, emotionally, saying things like, ‘I can’t stop thinking about you,’ ‘I want to take things seriously,’” Hardwick said, “and then they literally disappear on me out of nowhere.”
She blames failures to launch on today’s troubled dating scene — particularly in NYC, recently named the “worst” city for singles — fraught with toxic trends and folks who refuse to commit.
“I’ve recently had to take a break from dating,” added Hardwick. “The [constant rejection] is a hard pill to swallow.”
Susannah Hardwick.
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Hardwick hopes to find a handsome, kind, funny and business-minded man to date for the long term.
Courtesy Susannah Harwick
And yet, it’s a pill daters are forced to choke down on a daily basis, according to relationship therapist Jaime Bronstein.
“Ghosting, as the omnipresent form of rejection, is the new epidemic plaguing the dating community,” said the pro in a statement, warning that the cruel desertions often “rewire” victims’ brains for the worst.
“People who’ve been ghosted are proven to feel anxious and hypervigilant in social contact; their self-esteem plummets,” continued Bronstein. “They tend to overthink every unread text or time-out in responses.
“Many retreat from dating platforms altogether to avoid being hurt in the future.”
Sad woman on dating app.
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Bronstein encourages daters not to become disheartened by constant ghosting.
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But all hope isn’t lost for spurned sweethearts of the city and beyond, Bronstein assured.
In fact, the specialist suggested putting yourself back out there after a ghosting — but not before taking a few cautious, yet crucial baby steps.
“After a reasonable break in dating communication, you might want to practice it again in low-risk environments, and that’s a great step in dealing with Ghosting PTSD,” advised Bronstein.
“Role-playing a dating-app-like conversation with your friends or a therapist helps your brain to get back to expecting a healthy connection,” she said, “not another disappointment.”
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