He Wants To Divorce His Cheating Wife, But If He Does, Her Health Will Suffer As She Will Be Forced To Move Back To Their Country
For the last couple of years, this 35-year-old man has been living in America with his wife, who is the same age as him. Originally, they are from a third-world country.
Back when he first met his wife, he knew she was quite sick. She was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at 17, and his wife came into his life a decade later.
His wife was unable to attend college or hold a job due to her diagnosis and spent many years of her life stuck in her bed.
In their home country, there are, unfortunately, not many doctors who understand how to treat multiple sclerosis, so people suffer and have a greatly reduced lifespan.
Although his wife was quite ill, she still shone as one of the bravest people he has ever met in his life.
“She was very positive, determined, and one of the hardest workers I had ever met, even being sick most of the time,” he explained.
“We got married, and about a year later, I got offered a job in the United States, and I took it, and we moved here.”
“I was ecstatic because my wife would, for the first time in her life, have available the necessary doctors, tests, and medications that would be needed to treat MS. My wife was also very happy because she also wanted to go back to university, which was her dream but [she] had been too ill to do back home.”
Upon arriving in America, his wife was able to find a doctor who helped her and put her on a medication that is not available in their country.
carlesiturbe – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
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Her health improved dramatically, to the point where it was possible for her to attend college like she dreamed of.
While his wife’s physical health was on the up and up, her mental health began to spiral down. His wife found college incredibly hard, as she hadn’t studied in multiple years.
Adding to that, his wife missed her loved ones terribly and was shocked by having to adjust to the culture in America.
He admits that as his wife was struggling, he wasn’t there to really support her and he classifies himself as not the greatest husband.
He worked 60 hours weekly and, on occasions, pulled more hours than that. He was the breadwinner, but after his wife began college, he added the laundry, the cleaning, and the cooking to his already full plate.
He did whatever he could to make sure his wife was only focused on her school work and helped pay for her tuition.
“My wife often expressed that she was overwhelmed with school, missed home, missed her family, and was frequently angry. We had frequent fights,” he said.
“I tried my best, but I was exhausted from my work, financial stress, and most of the household responsibilities. Where we live, there is a small to medium population of immigrants from our home country. I encouraged my wife to make friends and hang out with them in order to keep some sort of contact with people, food, and a culture we were familiar with.”
“I tried to hang out with her when they would have these group get-togethers, but because of my work, I frequently did not have the time. This seemed to help my wife because her mood improved, and she seemed happy to have people from our home country around to talk to and relate about the difficulty of what moving to and adjusting to a new country was like.”
When his wife got halfway through college, he learned that she was cheating on him after he asked to use her phone one day.
A text message from his wife’s affair partner showed up, and that’s how he found out the truth. Apparently, his wife’s affair began a couple of months prior to her starting college.
His wife revealed that she engaged in the affair because she felt healthy and good for the first moment in her life.
She never got to be young and have certain experiences, so she was taking advantage of that with her affair partner.
For his wife, regaining her health was an opportunity to have another shot at what she had missed out on in her youth.
They got into an enormous disagreement that evening, and while he thought about divorcing his wife, he ultimately decided not to.
The guilt he felt over not being there for his wife in the way she needed caused him to stay. He was also worried about his wife losing her visa, which would happen if he went through with a divorce.
Instead, they chose to go to therapy and see if that could help them work through their issues. They spent several months in therapy, and his wife swore she had cut all contact with her affair partner.
He was too mistrustful of his wife, so he took it upon himself to look at her phone and check on what she was up to.
Sadly, he figured out that his wife not only had kept in contact with her affair partner – she had met up with the guy twice as he was hoping therapy would help their marriage.
This crushed him, and when he confronted his wife, he said he was ready for a divorce. His wife pleaded with him not to do this and said she’ll be forced to return to their home country and will get super sick again.
“Now, I do not know what to do. She is now done with school and unemployed,” he added. “The only way she can remain in the US and work is if she stays on my visa.”
“She adamantly does not want to get divorced and wants to work on the marriage and remain together. I cannot stand being around her and do not want to continue in this marriage and would like to get divorced.”
“I do not want to keep supporting her, and I would like to move on with my life. However, if I do this, it is almost certain that she will have to go back to our home country, and her health will suffer greatly. I feel guilt-ridden about this, and I feel as if I am trapped and cornered with no way out.”
What advice do you have for him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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