Women’s Notes To Younger Selves: ‘Trust Your Gut’; ‘You Are Enough’
We asked Patch readers to write notes to their younger selves offering wisdom they wish they’d had in commemoration of Women’s History Month, which continues through March.Readers’ notes are affirmations for all women. They came with reminders to women to lift, support and celebrate each other and cautionary reminders that the rights won by women can’t be taken for granted.The 1960s and 1970s, when Sally and Ellen came of age, were heady times for women, who were gaining real agency over their lives.“Things are going to change fast for you,” Sally, a Montgomreyville-Lansdale (Pennsylvania) Patch reader, would tell her younger self. “Shortly after you graduate, you’ll be able to get your own credit card. You’ll be able to get your own car loan without Daddy co-signing. You’ll have ways to control your love life and work life Mom could only imagine.“Don’t ever get complacent,” Sally would emphasize. “By the time you retire, they’ll try to start taking it all away from you.”Women’s History Month is needed “now more than ever,” Sally said.Patch reader Ellen is in her 70s. Like Sally, she witnessed touchstone changes for women. And like Sally, Ellen worries if today’s girls’ future selves will enjoy those hard-fought-for rights.“Women are one again losing their rights as they did in the past,” Ellen said. “We must keep moving forward. We weren’t allowed to vote, purchase homes, or have credit cards. Freedom of reproductive health is once again being stripped. We can’t allow this.”To her younger self, Ellen would say, “I want you to believe in yourself. You are a smart, attractive, compassionate, kind, hard-working woman. Believe that you deserve a beautiful life and can have it. Don’t listen to negative feedback or treatment. You have à lot to offer this world.”‘Be That Change In The World’“Self-confidence is so important,” MS, who reads Narragansett-South Kingston (Rhode Island) Patch and Sarasota (Florida) Patch, would tell her younger self. And also this:“Make the most of your school years to develop knowledge, a love of learning, and a love of yourself, family, and friends. If you don’t have a comfortable relationship with your parents, find someone else to talk to. “Look ahead to your future. Be healthy, be active, be the best you can be. Don’t be dragged down by negative people or energy. Be your best self, look forward to each day, smile, and pass your positive energy along!”“Dear Teenage Self,” Manchester (New Jersey) Patch reader Lanie wrote in her note. “Please stop placing doubts about your capabilities and start taking more chances. You are worth so much more than you think. “Follow your dreams and be that change in the world. Your heart deserves to be given to someone who values your time, your freedom, and every part of what makes you you. Walk away from anyone who gives you less. And most of all, love and trust yourself.”‘You’ve Got This’Fairfax City (Virginia) Patch reader Naty would say this to her younger, single mother self:“I know you’re scared and uncertain about the future right now, but trust me, you’re stronger than you realize. Life will throw challenges your way, but you’re capable of handling them. The journey of being a young, single mother won’t be easy, and there will be moments where you doubt yourself, but every step you take will shape you into the person you’re meant to be. “Don’t rush or be too hard on yourself — trust the process, trust that things will unfold in ways you can’t predict, and always trust yourself. The struggles will teach you resilience, patience, and love in ways you never imagined.“You will make it through, and one day, you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come, proud of all you’ve accomplished for yourself and your child. Keep believing in yourself because you’ve got this, even when it feels tough.”‘Trust Your Own Instincts’Watchung-Green Brook (New Jersey) Patch reader Niecy, struck a regretful tone. “You should have followed your dream and not listened to the people that told you not to do it,” she wrote. “Your life would’ve been so much different.”Blue Bell (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Washington validated her younger self in her bittersweet note.“Trust your own instincts. Don’t let others dictate your life. Don’t let others tell you what is best for your personal life,” she said. “You were correct. The man you loved, the love of your life was truly the love of your life. No other relationship ever could compare. He is your best fit for your personality. Don’t jeopardize your professional life as a nurse. That was your best career move. All your other efforts will not pan out for your career.”‘Do The Things You Want’“You have ADHD, girl, get help,” Medford (Massachusetts) Patch reader Linda told her younger self, adding, however, that the diagnosis was relatively new in the 1970s. As for other advice to younger Linda, she wrote in her note, “Stay in school, for Pete’s sake! Don’t smoke cigarettes, wear sunscreen.”Enfield (Connecticut) Patch reader Beth reminded her younger self to be a free spirit, writing:“Don’t get married! Go to college, travel and live a good life. Don’t have children and don’t get an animal; be free and live your life on your terms. Don’t spend time wasted on worry! Don’t get anxious or depressed. Take care of your teeth. Do the things you want to do!”‘Learn To Love Yourself’Ardmore-Merion-Wynnewood (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Shanon Skipworth is the founder of You’re Beautifully Made, a Philadelphia-area nonprofit whose Women’s History Month celebration raises awareness to the struggles of women over the years “just to have a place in the world.”“Hey, Girl!” she wrote to younger Shannon. “I know life has been rough for you. I know you feel like you can’t find your way and most days, you’re just not happy. “I know you only see the negative things happening to you now, but believe me, that will change! Life won’t be like this forever. You will not always be sad. I know you cry sometimes when you look in the mirror, but you will be happy and you will learn to love yourself. “You will be successful. You will graduate from high school and college, a college you’ve always wanted to attend. You will write children’s books with your daughter. Yes, you will have a daughter, two sons, and a granddaughter, too. “You will become the founder of your own nonprofit organization called You’re Beautifully Made. Your organization helps girls, women, and others who have experienced misfortune just like you. “I know you don’t understand why you have to face so many adversities. Don’t worry; you will figure out this thing called life, and you will understand your purpose. Adulthood is a crazy, bumpy ride, but your resilience will help you get through those not-so-good days. The Creator of heaven and Earth has a plan for you. You will be OK! Keep your head up, Shan. I love you!”Manchester (New Jersey) Patch reader Denese Cranga would remind her younger self that the tremendous loss and trauma she had endured would make her a strong woman.“Your loss of mom at 11, and both your grandmothers shortly thereafter, will cause you to be impulsive in your search for love. Know that your dream of having children will be another deep loss, but that in your 30s, you will find your lifelong dream of college coming true. You will go on to earn two master’s degrees in psychology and holistic health while making a huge difference in people’s lives as a therapist and professor,” she wrote. “Please learn to love yourself, though.”Let Someone Love YouLindsey, a Havre de Grace (Maryland) Patch reader, would tell her past self that she has moxie and mettle.“Don’t be so afraid to take chances. Even more importantly, don’t be so afraid to stand up for yourself. Trust your gut and stay strong with what you want and need, even if others disagree,” Lindsey wrote in her note. “Learn to love yourself and be your own biggest advocate and ally. This world is tough, but you are tougher. You will overcome any challenge, and life will always be beautiful, just like you.”Mylie, a Leesburg (Virginia) Patch reader, would dish younger Mylie some tough love.“Stop overthinking, dear,” she wrote. “Not everyone is thinking about you. The world won’t end if you mess up. You might actually learn something if you weren’t so stubborn, but you wear that as a badge of honor. Just remember being vulnerable doesn’t mean you’re weak. It takes strength to share what you feel. Even though you don’t think anyone cares, you need to keep going because you are loved by so many people. Not everyone you let in will hurt you; some of them just may heal you if you let them. Love, Me.”‘You Are Enough’Jessica, a Randolph (New Jersey) Patch reader, wishes teenaged Jessica had recognized her own value.“Quit being a people pleaser and worrying about what others think and say about you, focus on your own goals, finish what you start, stop trying to heal and/or change someone that shows the first red flag and has no interest in standing beside you while on your journey to success,” she wrote, adding:“Love yourself more than anyone; know your worth; know you’re smart, independent, and beautiful in every way. You are enough!”Parady, who reads Bridgeport Patch, Stratford Patch and other Connecticut Patch local news sites, would also remind her younger self, “Always know you are enough.”“No matter how tough times may seem, you will always pull through. Remember, drugs are not the answer. They only block those feelings for a short time and you are going to be back in the same boat trying to figure out how to paddle back in,” Parody wrote. “Keep your eyes open. There is so much beauty in the world. Stay away from the negative. You are stronger than you will ever know. You just have to push yourself until you finally see what you do is always enough.”Always Remember This . . .Some women’s notes were quick reminders, like Post-It Notes on their younger selves’ bathroom mirrors.“Please trust your gut and pay attention to red flags,” — Jayne, El Cerrito (California) Patch “Be honest, be loyal, be hard-working. Choose your friends wisely.” — Dee, Homer Glen-Lockport (Illinois) Patch“Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve for those who take advantage of that to see. Be strong and brave. Take care of yourself first, then other people.” — Linda, Branford (Connecticut) Patch“Stop being afraid of trying. Go out and experience life more. Find more time for elders, and write down their thoughts, history and experiences.” Gigi, Sarasota (Florida) Patch“Know who you are in your heart. Always be kind.” — Prince, Merrimack (New Hampshire) Patch“Do what makes you happy, not what society expects from you,” — Patricia, New Jersey Patch“You will be stronger than you think. You will go through many hard times, you will cry, you will scream, but you will survive. I promise.” — Katyushkaya, West Hartford (Connecticut) Patch“Embrace your beautiful body — not how it was or will be, but how it is right now. Don’t let anyone define you You define you.” — Jessica, Old Town Alexandria (Virginia) PatchThe article Women’s Notes To Younger Selves: ‘Trust Your Gut’; ‘You Are Enough’ appeared first on Across America, US Patch.
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