He Asked His Wife For A Divorce, Then Gave Her Another Chance, But He Knows He Would Be Happier Without Her
12 years ago, this 30-year-old man started dating his 29-year-old wife, and three years ago, they got married.
Back when they were only dating, his wife was loving and full of energy. But after the wedding and moving in together, his wife started to lose her active nature and was happily stagnating around their home.
“For example, she would just watch TV and be on the phone and not even have a proper conversation,” he explained.
He would constantly have to come up with things to talk about with his wife, and then their personal life began to suffer.
While this was all going down, it dawned on him that his wife had no interests or hobbies, let alone big goals or dreams.
She was fine drinking on the weekends, going on vacation occasionally, and speaking to her one or two friends once in a blue moon.
But he had a big dream; he always wanted to live in another country. He gave up on it after his wife shot it down and said it couldn’t possibly work.
He ended up changing his career completely in an effort to have a nicer life with his wife, but nothing really helped to fan the flames of romance again in their marriage.
As the differences between them grew more and more apparent, his wife stopped showing him love at all.
Dennis – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
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He would ask her why she was in love with him, and she would reply that she didn’t really know why.
“All this time, I’ve always tried to be positive; I’ve always tried as if I had no other option but her,” he said.
“From time to time, we had discussions about these issues or similar issues. For example, she didn’t keep the house tidy because she didn’t like our house.”
“Or we had little arguments with her mom all the time, and she would not speak up when she was clearly wrong. Because I was always humble, it was like I was just there to fill the role of “husband” in our relationship.”
But last December, several things happened in succession that caused him to finally give up on his wife and their marriage.
The first incident was a family birthday celebration when his father mentioned to his wife that if they ever hypothetically got divorced, they still wanted to spend time together.
The second thing that upset him was when his wife’s mom stated that husbands should do whatever their wives want.
The third issue was when he broke down and told his wife she was doing something to break his heart, and she accused him of exaggerating.
The fourth event was his having to commute two hours to work every day on the bus, even though he and his wife had enough money to purchase a car. But his wife never offered, even after he complained that she didn’t care.
Those four moments pushed him completely over the edge. He was exhausted from being a loving and patient husband.
He clarifies that he doesn’t think his wife is a mean person; she simply has a very different personality than he does.
“But think about it: there were times when I could see that she got bored when I hugged her or kissed her,” he added.
“Every time we talked about these things, she told me that I was exaggerating. 2 weeks ago, I told her I wanted a divorce, and she got extremely angry because she never expected it. Strangely it was the first time I saw how much my wife loved me, I was shocked.”
“First, she left the house, but after 10 minutes, she came back and asked me if I was sure. For the first time, I realized that she loved me, so I wanted to give her another chance, but in the past 2 weeks, I realized that I am not the same person I used to be. I went from being a loving person to a dull man. I don’t feel like I used to be. And, unfortunately, I know I would be happier if I divorced.”
His wife is trying her hardest, but he doesn’t see how this will work, so he’s left wondering what to do.
What advice do you have for him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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