Her Husband Asked For An Open Marriage, But Now That She’s Going Out On Dates With Another Guy, He Keeps Trying To Change Up The Rules Of Their Arrangement
This 35-year-old woman and her husband, who’s 36, currently have an open marriage, and the arrangement was actually her husband’s idea.
He proposed opening up their relationship over the summer, and at first, she wasn’t totally on board. But, ever since she got used to the thought of an open marriage, things have been going “great” for her.
The only problem is that her husband suddenly started changing the rules of their agreement, particularly after she began dating a 45-year-old guy named Evan. His new behavior reeks of jealousy, too.
For some context, back when they first decided to open their marriage, they settled on a “don’t ask, don’t tell policy.” Following Evan’s entrance into her life, though, her husband went back on that.
He would pester her for all the details of her relationship with Evan. And she wouldn’t tell him the nitty gritty, but she’d give him some details “here and there.”
Then things spiraled even more. Whenever she’d mention anything positive about Evan, her husband would downplay the guy or critique him.
Plus, when she had a date planned with Evan last week and asked her husband to watch their kids, he initially agreed. Yet, while he was supposed to arrive home by 9:00 p.m. to take over the childcare, he randomly chose to work overtime that evening.
“I was left scrambling for a sitter at the last minute. This isn’t the first time he has done this,” she explained.
“Luckily, this time, I got ahold of a sitter, but I could not stay as long as I was hoping for. And afterward, he acted as if everything was okay.”
Sunshine – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
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Her husband has been behaving strangely in other ways as well. He’s taken to “policing” her outfits, nitpicking her wardrobe and claiming he was concerned about how their neighbors might “perceive her.” This pushed her to start wearing jackets and covering herself up before leaving their house.
Additionally, her husband had a problem with Evan dropping her off at home following dates. He didn’t want their neighbors to see a “strange car” pulling up at night, and she was forced to start going out with Evan on lunch dates instead.
“It wasn’t a bother. I would bring my laptop to Evan’s and work at his place. However, I preferred the dinner dates because I got a chance to dress up more,” she detailed.
Thankfully, switching the timing of her dates seemed to alleviate a bit of tension. Still, she believed that she was compromising way too much.
For instance, her husband didn’t like Evan dropping her off at home or paying for an Uber on their dates, and he wasn’t on board with driving her himself. It didn’t make any sense to her.
More recently, she finally hit her breaking point. That’s because her husband flipped out when Evan sent some flowers to her house.
He lost it and thought it was dangerous for a strange guy to know their address when they had children at home. She realizes she dropped the ball in this regard and that her husband had a point here.
Nonetheless, his behavior lately has left her feeling very frustrated. In the past, he’d joke about how she got no “chivalry” in their open relationship, and now that she’s going out on nice dates, it’s suddenly a huge deal.
She tried asking her husband if he took any of the women he slept with on dates, and he denied ever doing that. He claimed that he only slept with the women and never engaged in anything “lovey-dovey.”
“I confronted my husband about these rules, and he brushed it off like it was nothing, saying it’s ‘just a respect thing,'” she vented.
“I was really enjoying this, but he’s sucking the fun out of it, and it just feels highly stressful.”
Now, she can’t help but wonder if getting upset about her husband changing their open marriage rules after he asked for this arrangement in the first place is really so unreasonable or not.
Does it seem like her husband wants to benefit from their open marriage by himself? What should she do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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