We Need To Be Talking About Friend Breakups Because They’re Arguably More Painful Than Losing A Partner
While it’s been well known that breaking up with someone is one of the most painful and stressful things a person can experience, there is another experience that many argue is more painful – a friendship breakup.
Yes, breaking up with a romantic partner or spouse is soul-crushing and terrible in so many ways. You may have seen yourself having a future with them or spending your final days with them, all for that person to one day become a stranger.
However, something that can hurt even worse is ‘breaking up’ with a friend, especially a long-term friend who used to always be there for you and lift you up in your darkest moments.
While we never want to talk about friendship breakups, as we may want to pretend as if they don’t exist, it’s something we should acknowledge and think about. Because if it happens to you one day, especially out of the blue, you’ll want to know how to start moving on and healing.
Breakups with friends can happen for many reasons. Many self-help articles will point out that there are a lot of bad fights and arguments between friends that can be settled, but sometimes, they can’t.
Even if you and a friend start arguing because of something petty, that argument can spiral to the point where it makes you not want to associate with them anymore.
Sometimes, arguments and incidents shred relationships beyond repair, and one or both parties choose to end it.
If you recently went through a very negative experience with a friend that left you with a horrible taste in your mouth and led you to feel as though you can’t be their friend anymore, tell them. Send a clear message that recent events influenced your decision to end the friendship. Then, try to move on.
A more traumatizing scenario, one that many people have found themselves in, is that a friend may just decide to stop being friends with you out of the blue. Then, instead of giving you an explanation, they ghost you.
jandruk – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
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In that scenario, you can try to contact that former friend in search of an explanation, or you can also try to move on.
When moving on from a friendship breakup, it’s important you allow yourself to grieve. Losing a friend is a next-level loss; you deserve to mourn your friendship.
Take a day or two off work to crash on the couch and cry if you have to. Vent to a trusted family member or counselor for as long as needed. This is a breakup that should be taken seriously.
You should also lean on the support of other friends of yours. Remember that just because you ‘broke up’ with one doesn’t mean you’ve lost all your other friends. Reach out to any other pals who can support you by distracting you with a night out or simply staying on the phone while you vent.
Finally, avoid getting angry to the point where you do something stupid. By this, I mean avoid drinking too much wine and spamming your former friend’s inbox with crude voicemails.
Don’t spread rumors about them; don’t send them hate online. Just let things be. Taking your friend break up to a new level of pettiness isn’t a good idea.
If you’re going through a friend breakup, I am so sorry. However, remember that with time comes healing, and one day, you won’t think about it as much as you may be right now. Hang in there; you’ve got this.
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