He’s Freshly Married And Miserable, Because He Cries After He Fights With His Wife Every Single Day
For some couples, the honeymoon phase is over before their actual honeymoon begins. Four months ago, this 23-year-old man married his wife, who is the same age as him, and he’s freshly married and miserable.
He’s been with his wife for three years, but the last year has been hard on their relationship. They each struggle with issues that keep popping up, and they can’t manage to resolve them or move past them.
These issues relate to what he and his wife dislike about the other person, and it’s grown into resentment on both of their ends.
“Her issue with me is that I don’t listen, and as an extension of that, she says we keep fighting about the same things/circumstances because I’m not listening to her in the moment or because I “forgot” a tip or point that she told me would’ve helped us in fights,” he explained.
“Additionally, since we got married, I started an intense grad school, and she now says she is unhappy and alone with these issues a lot more, and I’m her biggest stressor because of our relationship issues.”
As for his problem with his wife, it’s her drinking. She enjoys her wine, but as soon as she starts, she begins treating him terribly and he feels like he has to be so cautious around her, as anything could set her off.
They’re painfully aware of what they don’t like about one another, and they have tried to put the work in to get to a better place.
They hold “check-ins” once a week, go out on dates every Friday evening, and attempt to communicate consistently.
“I am just so unhappy and depressed every time an issue comes up, though,” he said. “I always end up saying something wrong (which I’ll admit and apologize for either then or later), but then I feel like the fight becomes all about how I said something mean- even if I wasn’t the only one.”
nenetus – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
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He’s the only person who says sorry; his wife never expresses remorse for hurting his feelings. Every single time he fights with his wife, which is on a daily basis, he ends up crying when they’re done.
While he loves his wife and desperately wants their marriage to succeed, he’s tired of the daily arguments.
The stress of his marriage is weighing heavily on him, in addition to his school work. He’s tried to discuss his feelings with his wife, but she doesn’t really hear him.
They don’t have the money to go to therapy, and they have bought self-help books, but they don’t read them all the way through.
“It feels like we both are so unhappy with each other,” he added. “I should add- she wants me to try harder to do things for her every day to make her feel special, whether big or small.”
“I understand this and have been indisputably better about it, but it hasn’t been enough. I’m reaching a point where I don’t want to do this stuff because I feel like it’s not helping, and I’m just resenting her.”
“How can I get past my negative views of her?”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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